


At The Auction

by RomComLover



Category: South Park
Genre: Adults, Car Show, Erica Cartman - Freeform, F/M, Female Eric Cartman, Fluff, Hetero Kyman, Kyman - Freeform, Pre established relationship, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:20:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24117163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomComLover/pseuds/RomComLover
Summary: Erica and Kyle’s pride get in the way, and a decent friendship, that seemed to be going places, gets unraveled.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman
Kudos: 31





	At The Auction

Erica had enviable grace as she strolled around the park in her brand new peep toe platform heels. Kyle watched her impressed, she was a tall woman to begin with and unapologetically taller in her heels, she seemed to radiate confidence and elegance.

“Kyle, hurry up!” She shouted over her shoulder as she slowed down, “we won’t make it to the auction in time.”

“I thought we were going to a car show?” He said, quickly catching up to her.

“Yes, but there’s also an auction, we need to get there in time or else I won’t be able to-“

“Wait a minute!” Kyle stopped in his tracks making Erica look at him, “I thought this was just us meeting up with Stan and them at the car show.”

“Well yeah…” she said tapping her foot, “I mean… if they didn’t show up it wouldn’t be so bad...” She shrugged. Kyle frowned.

“Why wouldn’t they show up?” He asked suspiciously.

“Relax they’ll be there, jeez.” She huffed and quickly walked towards the entry point. Kyle shook his head and followed suit.

“Hey, Broflovski!” He heard a familiar voice call out to him.

“Dude!” Kyle laughed as he saw a group of people he hadn’t seen in a while.

“Where have you been? We’ve been waiting.” Stan said as Kyle got his wrist band.

“We’re only 20 minutes late.” He said sheepishly as he looked at his watch.

“We?” Butters asked as he looked around. Erica was nowhere to be seen.

“Well, Cartman was with me a minute ago…” Kyle frowned as he looked around for the tall brunette.

“I don’t know how you do it man.” Kenny shook his head and chuckled.

“Are you guys dating yet?” Stan curiously asked, Kenny elbowed him and frowned.

“Uh, no. We’re just friends, sorta.” Kyle said uncomfortably. Honestly Kyle wasn’t sure, everytime things seemed to be heading towards a romantic route something would happen and they’d go back to arguing.

“Oh well… that’s good.” Stan said relieved.

“Let’s go check out these beauties!” Kenny cheered as they made their way around the cars.

After looking around for a while Kyle’s thoughts started to wander to her. Where did she go? Is she going to be alright? She better not do anything stupid…

“Hey look, there’s an auction!” Butters bounced beside them.

“Oh yeah, she said something about doing that.” Kyle said thoughtfully. Kenny just looked at him surprised. “What?”

“And you’re  _ okay _ with that?” The blonde asked.

“The auction?” Kyle pointed at the crowd, “Uh, I’m pretty sure she can take care of herself, she’s a big girl.” He shrugged.

“That’s for sure.” Stan mumbled, Kyle shot him a glare.

“So you don’t care what she does?” Kenny asked again, exasperated, heavily implying something. Kyle made a face.

“Wow...” Butters said from the side, enthralled by the scene before him, “you are missing out.”

“Do I hear five thousand?” The auctioneer called out.

Kyle peered at paddles in the air as the number rose, he didn’t see her in the crowd… of what seemed like older men.

“What are they-“ he froze as he looked up at the stage. Erica dressed as a pinup with bright red lips, a powerful come hither aura as she winked at the crowd. “What the hell?” Kyle shouted as he stepped forward.

“Hold it stupid,” Kenny said as he held kyle by his arm, “She’s a big girl she can and will take care of herself.”

“Yeah, besides you just said you didn’t care.” Butters agreed.

“What’s the big deal?” Stan said oblivious.

“Sold for 10,000!”

Erica blew an exaggerated kiss out towards the winning bidder. Kyle flared.

“What the hell was that?” Kyle said when she finally walked out of the dressing room.

“Holy shit Kahl!” She shouted, “you scared me!”

“...” Kyle bit his tongue, he wasn’t going to apologize. “What are you doing?” Erica looked away and shrugged.

“I guess... I’m looking for a sugar daddy.” She said.

“What?” Kyle yelled, she glared at him, they were attracting attention to themselves. “What the hell do you want a sugar daddy for?” He whisper-yelled.

“Money, attention, presents-“ she listed on her fingers, “these guys make me feel wanted.” She said softly.

“What are you talking about?” Kyle looked at her as though she were crazy. “You have a great job! Everybody knows you!”

“So?” She frowned, “I’m not exactly rich.”

“So what? You don’t have to be rich to enjoy life.” Erica huffed at him turning away. “Look at me.”

“Fuck you.” She said as she started walking away.

“You don’t have to do this.” He said as he caught her hand, she stopped but didn’t pull back.

“A sugar baby and daddy dynamic doesn’t have to be physical or emotional.” She said robotically.

“Huh?” He felt her hand slip out of his.

“He’s just gonna tell me pretty things and get me pretty things. I won’t have to worry about anything.”

“What are you talking about-“

“I’m talking about  _ us _ , Kyle.” She looked at him, her mismatched eyes staring straight into his soul. “It doesn’t matter how many steps forward we take, something happens and we always end up at square one.”

“It-“

“It does. And I don’t want to keep playing a game I can’t win.” she sighed. “No matter how long I waited nothing happened. And I don’t want to do this anymore.” She said as she walked off, done with their conversation.

Kyle stared at his hand and looked up to where she disappeared.

“Think of it this way…” Stan started, “that means you two won’t be roommates anymore.”

Kyle, Kenny and Butters gave him an unimpressed look.

“Hhh…” Kyle sighed, “I just wanted to keep things platonic, I figured it would be easier.”

“Why?” Kenny asked.

“Okay, let’s say, we date. Things are going well. Great even. Suddenly, we fight, we break up. Don’t you think it would be a huge mess? Think about it, when we argue now it’s like hell on earth, I can’t even imagine what it would be like if we… fuck it. Forget it.”

“The reason you two fight is because of the sexual tension.” Kenny said seriously, pointing a fry at him.

“You two are so prideful you won’t even make the first move.” Butters said sadly.

“Well she made it pretty obvious it wasn’t going to happen now.” Kyle muttered pushing his fries around.

“Well… she actually made it obvious she didn’t want to be platonic with you anymore.” Stan said thoughtfully.

Kyle froze as he deciphered his friend's words.

“W-What?”

“He said she’s not gonna be your friend anymore.” Butters spelled it out for him.

“Yup.” Kenny said, “knowing Cartman, she could probably seduce the old man, maybe marry him and wait for him to die and inherit his money.”

Kyle shook his head, if she got married to some old man he would never forgive himself.

“What if she has his children?” Butters asked innocently.

“More money.” Stan said stoically.

Kyle felt like throwing up.

“Hey, Kyle are you okay?”

“I gotta go.” Kyle said and abruptly stood up, “I gotta go find her.”

“Do you think we should tell him?” Butters asked.

“Nah, they got this.” Stan said.

“We had to intervene…” Kenny said, “again.”

“They were driving me crazy this time.” Stan said.

“I hope they get married.” Butters sighed.

“Gaaaay.” Kenny said as he side hugged Butters.

“We better get a huge cut…” Stan said as he ate his pizza.

Erica walked into the apartment at 4 in the morning, she quickly took off her shoes and sighed in relief the moment her toes touched the floor.

“Sweet Jesus.” She hummed, she didn’t bother turning on the light as she walked towards the kitchen in search of water. But she was surprised to see a silhouette on the couch. She stared at him for a moment before shaking her head. _ Unbelievable, _ she thought,  _ he waited for me. _

“Erica?” A groggy voice called out.

“Hm.” She responded from her spot in the kitchen.

“Ugh,” Kyle sat up and pulled out his phone. “Goddamnit what time is it.. fuuuck.” The light irritating to his tired eyes. “Did you just get in?”

“Yeah.” She rolled her eyes, if she wanted to be nagged she would have stayed in South Park with her mother.

“Don’t do it.” Kyle said, “don’t be a sugar baby or bug.”

“Whatever  _ dad _ .” She said as she finished her glass.

“What did you…”  _ what did you do tonight? _

“It was no big deal...” Erica hesitated, “it was just a date... on a yacht, with caviar and champagne… he picked me up in a limo. He just wanted to prove he had money and I happened to be his type.”

“Don’t do that either.” Kyle said quickly. Erica glared at him.

“You seem to have a lot of suggestions for someone who doesn’t really care about what I do.”

“I care about you.” He got up from the couch and flipped on the lights causing both of them to groan at the sudden brightness.

“Only when it’s  _ convenient _ to you. Kyle, what exactly do you want from me? You want me to be your little pal and keep me to yourself, like a nun? Like a pet?”

“A nun?”

“In a convent! Whatever!”

“No. Erica I actually care about you-“

“No you don’t, you’re just-“

“Stop putting words in my mouth and let me say-“

“Fine! Say it!”

“I want us to stay friends.”

“I  _ know _ that, Goddamn it!“

“I’m not done.” He raised his voice, “I want us to stay friends because if we broke up I don’t think I could ever think of you as just my friend.” He revealed. “And I don’t want to lose you.” He brushed her hair out of her face.

“What?” She asked, stunned. “That’s why?” He nodded, ashamed of his reasoning. “Oh…” she said, saddened. It didn’t seem impossible, she leaned in to hug him and felt him return the embrace.

“Ironic how we live together but we’ve never dated…” she said into his shoulder.

“Ironic how you insist on me driving us to work everyday.”

“That's not ironic, that’s just carpooling.”

“But... if we did date I wouldn’t get you a limo, or give you my attention, and I wouldn’t get you presents.” He whispered into her ear, she pulled back and frowned at him. “I wouldn’t get you a limo because I love the way you look when you walk in your heels. I wouldn’t give you my attention because you’ve already had it. I wouldn’t get you presents because it’s insane to think that’s how you could earn someone’s genuine affection…” he chuckled, his hand caressed her cheek. “I don’t want to see you with anybody else.” Erica leaned into his touch.

“If we date I can’t promise you I’ll change.” Erica said, Kyle nodded. “I probably won't stop getting into trouble at work.” Kyle rolled his eyes. The ball was in her court, “and… I wouldn’t want to see you with somebody else either.”

“I’m glad.” Kyle said as he closed his eyes relieved.

“Aren’t you going to kiss me?” She asked coyly. Kyle smirked and leaned in, placing his lips on hers, slowly letting themselves melt into one another.

Erica didn’t know that he had basically proposed to her that day, and Kyle didn’t know she had already planned their next big scheme that day… one that they would need to do together.

She had never intended to get a sugar daddy, she just needed to see the rich man’s phone for classified information.

A year later:

“You can’t be serious… right? This is a joke?” Kyle said as they neared the auto show. Erica tilted her sunglasses and gave him a wink.

“Don’t be naive, my love, with this plan we’re going to be rich! Millionaires even!” She strutted away as he stared at his fiancé walk towards the ticketing booth.

“God Dammit Cartman!”

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on instagram or tumblr if you’d like to see my Kyman fanart  
> tumblr & ig @ vega_lamega


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